Blackpool’s Broadway Hotel flop

In scenes that could have been from TV’s Fawlty Towers, the wallpaper at the Broadway Hotel was peeling off the walls, the carpets were dirty and the bed “must have come from the Ark” – or so claimed the TripAdvisor review under the headline “Filthy, dirty rotten stinking hovel run by muppets!”

Those words proved costly for Tony and Jan Jenkinson of Whitehaven when they posted them after an August stay at the Blackpool hotel.

In a move that even king klutz hotelier Basil would have been proud of, the small print of their booking said they could be fined £100 for a bad review – and the amount was soon taken from their credit card by the hotel management.

The Jenkinsons have since been refunded after a public outcry and the hotel has now apparently removed the clause from future bookings, but I went to see if the hotel is as bad as the review suggested.

A sign outside claims it was Blackpool’s hotel of the year – but the gong was awarded back in 2004 and the decade since has not been kind.

The décor looks like a further throwback … to the 1970s: the corridors smell musty, ceilings have damp patches, numbers hang off doors, and there are signs tacked on the walls advertising a late check-out for £2.50 and weekend karaoke nights.

I booked my double room with booking.com for the rock-bottom price of £32.50. As I searched for Blackpool hotels, the price-comparison site told me that 255 people were also looking at the Broadway. Its nearest Blackpool competitor, the Norbreck Castle, had just eight people mulling over a stay – proof that there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Check-in was with Ryan, a cheerful young lad in a black polo shirt. Obviously concerned with the day’s bad press, he made every effort to be helpful, explaining where my room was, check-out times, and the fact that WiFi worked best on the ground floor.

I climbed a set of creaking stairs to find a lift with one of the buttons masked off with tape, taking it to find my third-floor room. The room was small and badly lit but from the window I could see the Irish Sea and Blackpool Pleasure Beach, but that’s where any happiness stopped.

A towel rolled into a swan was a cute move but it failed to mask stained flock and woodchip wallpaper, a TV with dangling cables, a shower tray surrounded by mould, and a sink hanging from the wall. The shower curtain was ripped and threadbare carpets had a couple of cigarette burns thrown in for good measure.

Whoever had been round with the vac had failed to get into the corners that were thick with dust, and even green efforts fell flat: the tiny bedside lamp had an oversized energy-saving bulb ridiculously sticking out of the top of the shade.

A kettle with mismatched cups and a man snoring loudly through the paper-thin walls that separated me from next door were minor irritations, but what looked like it used to be the smoke alarm had no cover and no working unit, just some old cable tucked away behind the plastic base.

It’s a theme worryingly repeated throughout the hotel. One fire door had a handle that was hanging off, another outside of the lift was propped open with a fire extinguisher, and I only saw that and avoided tripping when I used my iPhone as a torch as the hall lights were out. In a fire, they could be potential death traps.

Even more worrying is the possibility that the Broadway is not a one-off. It’s located in the busy South Shore area with its newly developed seafront and surrounded by dozens of other hotels.

According to TripAdvisor, there are 894 inns and B&Bs in the seaside town, with the Broadway ranking in a lowly 858th position. Scores of them have similar reviews complaining of dirt and grime as hoteliers constantly reduce prices to compete with both each other and cheap holidays abroad leaving little money to re-invest in their hotels.

In the late evening I headed to the bar. It was nearly empty but tacky disco lights twirled away as though waiting for John Travolta to hit the dance floor – it’s a good job he didn’t turn up, he could have tripped on the dank carpets.

Cans of beer are at least good value at £2 each – “They’re cooled to 1 degree C and served in a chilled glass,” Ryan told me before pouring.

But in the gent’s toilets, there was more mould, more torn wallpaper and plasterwork bulging with damp.

As I ordered my second drink, Ryan asked if I was a journalist. “We’ve been in the news today for some bad reviews and we’re expecting lots of them,” he said. “I tried to Google your name but couldn’t find you, so I thought I’d ask.”

My night’s sleep was awful. The bed may have had clean sheets but it was lumpy, the pillows were flat and my feet hung over the end. On the positive side, at least the shower was hot, the central heating worked and the TV had a full range of Freeview channels.

In the morning I ventured down for breakfast served in a dingy dining room with more flocked wallpaper in what must once have been a rhubarb and custard colour scheme to find Ryan still valiantly trying to make a show of things – but if he tried to stem the Thames with his toe he’d have more luck.

I sat down at a table with a paper tablecloth curling at the edges and covered in breadcrumbs. Service was quick – a plate of bacon, 2 sausages, beans, hash brown and a slightly snotty egg arrived in no time. But as I lifted my knife, I realised it had butter on it from the previous sitting.

A push and a prod of the food around the plate and I could stand it no more. As I left, there was no one on reception to take my key, just a small wicker basket to leave it in. I did so and hurried out – thankful I only had to spend one night in this Broadway flop.

Some of the Broadway’s other reviews on TripAdvisor

“The breakfast was disgusting, the tables and cutlery were filthy and the dining room looked as it hadn’t seen a hoover in months.”

“This place is filthy,it really needs closing down,bedroom full of mould no heater,no hot water,beds need throwing away,couldn’t bear to eat breakfast staff drinking cans of strongbow while serving breakfast,could not wait to get out of this place and get home to bath. environmental need to get in there quick….”

“I would rather stay in Bates Motel than this joint. terrible, terrible, terrible”